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Everyone deals with problems in their lives in a variety of ways. While some people put on a happy face and intentionally decide to use their illness as an opportunity, others will drive home from the doctor’s office anxious to see how much longer they can drive due to the severity of their pain. They will lie on the sofa and not leave the house for years. Why do some people thrive despite having chronic illness, while others just go into survival mode, even using illness as an excuse for everything that goes wrong in their life?

So what do happy people with chronic illnesses have in common?

Here are some things I’ve discovered:

[1] They keep hope. We have found through research that people who are hopeful actually recover from surgery faster than those who are less hopeful. Hope is fundamental and a basic step to find satisfaction despite our situation. The 2006 theme for National Invisible Chronic Disease Awareness Week was “My illness is invisible but my hope shines.” This is an attitude we should all have.

[2] They continue and move forward no matter what happens with a persevering attitude. Living with constant chronic pain is very exhausting! Emotionally, physically, and spiritually, chronic pain can quickly drain our strength and spirit. Our good health is one of the main things our society counts on to help us achieve our dreams, even referencing the saying, “At least you have your health!” But when you live with endless chronic pain and are still able to find happiness, part of the reason is because even though you adjust our dreams, you still have them. Sometimes these new resolutions can be more exhausting than the original ones, but passion can produce a lot of adrenaline.

[3] They are good advocates for their own health. Paul J. Donoghue and Mary E. Siegel, authors of “Sick and Tired of Feeling Sick and Tired,” write: “Getting this help in a consistently satisfying way is as essential as it is challenging. It will take perseverance, courage, and skill. You will need to understand your needs and commit to meeting them” (p. 160). People who are involved in the decision-making process about their care and treatment, and who actively seek physicians to partner with them, are happier than those who are feel out of control For example, if you want children, it is important to have a medical team that understands this desire and treats you well, even if you disagree with their decision, rather than scolding you with poor care .

[4] People who are happy don’t claim the role of victim, in fact, they tend to ask, “Why not me?” instead of “Why me?” Adopting this attitude can take effort if it doesn’t come naturally. But many of these people get involved in different organizations that serve people. And when you’re around other people who are living with illness, cancer, or have left abusive homes, they quickly understand that this world is not a perfect place. When things are going fairly well in their lives, they recognize it as a blessing, not a right.

[5] They understand who they are and therefore are not overly sensitive and take others’ comments too personally. If you have a strong faith this can make everything much easier because you understand his value and his value as a person you don’t count on what you can achieve with his physical strength. Learn what it is responsible for (like an attitude) and what it isn’t (like an infection that keeps coming back). This can help keep unnecessary guilt away from things that are out of your hands.

[6] They communicate competently. Being able to talk to others, explain your feelings, learn to listen effectively, and watch your words carefully can help you avoid a lot of trouble. Misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and arguments can affect your entire life and your body’s ability to cope with illness. One must learn to manage bitterness and focus on healthy relationships. Happy people with illnesses are good at understanding when to talk about their illness and how much to share about their personal lives.

[7] They genuinely care about other people. Nobody wants to contract a chronic disease to receive that “education in life” but people who are happy allow their experiences to be a gift of knowledge. They can share struggles and successes with others. They can use their experiences as a way to help a friend or become a mentor. To truly find happiness, we must look outside of ourselves and reach out to other people.

Author JK Rowling once said, “It is our choices that show who we really are, far more than our abilities.” This is such an applicable quote for those who live with chronic pain every day.

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