Roresishms

A Virtual World of Live Pictures.

Why is my daughter so different since she reached her teens?

The most obvious difference between boys and girls when they hit their teens is that while boys tend to withdraw, girls get involved and often get into a fight. That’s not to say that girls don’t spend a lot of time in their rooms, on the computer, or talking on the phone; however, they tend to pick battles and fight with their parents more often than adolescents. Teenage girls struggle to regulate their emotions, which often feel overwhelming, confusing, and “all over the place.” This is what creates those moments when you may witness (or more often be the recipient of) screaming, hysterical crying, and yelling. It can seem to come out of nowhere, be very misdirected, and can seem wildly over the top for the current situation. This is normal (and extremely stressful).

Teenage girls are dealing with many changes happening at once. First, they are undergoing significant changes to their bodies with the development of secondary sexual characteristics, general growth, and sometimes weight gain. This can be extremely stressful for girls and can result in embarrassment, low self-esteem, and a lot of confusion. Second, they are dealing with new, sexualized feelings that also result in behavior changes. They worry more about what others think of them (hence the hours in front of the mirror), they worry more about what they are wearing, if they look “fat” and they worry about who is dating whom. Third, they also begin to be seen as sexualized by others their own age, which is a major shift that creates a new level of self-awareness and peer pressure. Finally, they seek independence, which means putting friends and members of the “outside world” first instead of seeing their parents/family as the center of their world. There’s a lot going on, right? It certainly is and all of this can result in emotions that are confusing and strong.

Emotional dysregulation occurs when an individual’s response does not appear to be “appropriate” for a particular situation. This often looks like an “overreaction” to a situation or a prolonged emotional response to a situation. Emotional dysregulation is not uncommon for adolescent girls and usually develops in the safety of home, resulting in you, as a parent, more often than not being the recipient. At the end of this article, I’ll offer some pointers to respond to if you’re experiencing this with your teenage daughter.

I have often heard people say: “teenage girls and their mothers never get along.” While this is a general statement, it does have some validity. The reality is that adolescent girls are often more attached to their mothers and therefore, in order to gain independence, they need to work hard to break that attachment. Although there may be a similar dynamic with parents, relationships with adolescent girls and their parents tend to be less turbulent and seemingly emotional. So with their mothers, girls try very hard to resist the close connection they feel, which ultimately causes more confusion and often a stronger emotional response.

If you’re a parent experiencing this, it’s certainly not fun and can be extremely emotionally draining for you, right? How could I not be? It’s hard to witness your child’s extreme emotions, and at the same time, you don’t really know what he’s struggling with, you can’t deal with it, and you have to try to control your own emotions. It’s not an easy job at all! Sometimes understanding what’s going on can make things easier. Basically, what your teenage daughter is doing is healthier than you think. She is working to disconnect from you, yet she keeps you connected through the fighting, the yelling, and the yelling. She struggles to increase her independence, but she also keeps her relationship with you strong through fights (this doesn’t necessarily feel right at the moment, but she keeps her connection with you). Ultimately, her daughter is receiving support from her during these difficult battles, although it’s probably not the way she would want her to seek support. Understanding this along with reviewing the tips at the end of this article can help you in those moments when you want to run out of the house, lock yourself in your room (see at the end, I have a tip for this), or pull your hair out. Being a teenager Right now this is not an easy task: your daughter needs your support, consistency, and validation, even though she probably never asks for it.

There is certainly a lot more information related to what makes teen girls tick, however this overview is intended to help you as a parent understand what may be going on with your child, which will help you make the best decisions. decisions. you and your family on how to effectively treat your teenage daughter. I want to emphasize that while most girls go through this process safely, there are others who experience significant difficulties during this difficult transition period. Some teens start using drugs and/or alcohol as a way to gain confidence in social situations, to “fit in,” or to manage their confused emotions. Others become involved in negative peer groups and succumb to peer pressures associated with criminal activity or unsafe sexual promiscuity. Some lose emotional control and become aggressive and violent. If you have real concerns about such behaviors, you should consult with an expert who can help you determine if you need additional support or help.

Some techniques to try when your teenage daughter seems very emotional:

1. Validation: Let your daughter know that you understand she is upset (even if you don’t understand why) and that you know it must be hard for her to be so upset. Sometimes just feeling heard can make a big difference in how your teen responds to you. Again, you don’t have to agree or fully understand, she just acknowledges and validates how she feels.

2. Stay calm – This can be very difficult, especially if your daughter yells at you or says hurtful things. However, if you also become extremely emotional, you may not have a productive interaction and end up feeling bad for saying things you later regret. Speaking in an even, calm voice often causes the other person to lower their voice and calm down.

3. Take space: If you feel ready to fly, there’s no reason you can’t take space for yourself. Many parents I’ve worked with find that going to the bathroom is the best way to go (although each person should do what works best for them). Whether you’re going to take a shower or bath or just pretend you need to be there doing something, this often gives the parent and teen a “cool period” and prevents situations from escalating further. Most of the time, children will not disturb others when they are in the bathroom with the door closed.

4. Don’t feel like you have to defend yourself: Your teen may accuse you of things that aren’t true, say hurtful things, or exaggerate situations. As a parent, you don’t need to help them rationalize these things during an emotional time. Your teen may not be able to hear what she’s saying, and if she can hear it, she may not be able to process it effectively. If you feel it’s important to explain yourself (and often it’s not), then it’s best to wait and do it during a time when emotions are under control.

5. Teach your daughter techniques to calm down during unemotional times: It is often helpful for parents to talk with their daughters about ways to stay calm during times when things are going well. I have worked with parents who were able to come up with plans for their teenage daughters where they can ask to be left alone for ten minutes to listen to music and calm down before continuing the conversation. Other parents have worked with their daughters on deep breathing, counting to 10, writing down how they feel before yelling, etc. All of these can be effective if discussed and reviewed during non-emotional times. You know her teenage daughter best and can probably help her find a technique or techniques that will work for her.

As a parent, you know your daughter best. Trust your instincts as you allow yourself to be open to understanding what might be going on with her. One of the most important things to remember as you endure the stress that can be associated with raising a teenager while dealing with everything else in your life is that you need to practice good self-care. It’s important for parents to stay connected to the things they enjoy and relieve stress during a period that can often be unpredictable and chaotic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *