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You are guilty! You know you are. You are one of those women who look for any excuse to get in touch with your ex, right? I’ve been there, most women have. We can’t seem to let that man go. He’s really the one we always imagined we’d end up with. But something went wrong, a breakup occurred, and now you’re pining for him. You know better. You know it is useless for you to call him and then hang up after hearing his voice and you know that you are accomplishing nothing but wasting your time when you sit outside his apartment hoping to catch a glimpse of him. You probably tell yourself that there is nothing wrong with any of that, right? You know that is not true. Now that his birthday is approaching, you have a question in mind: “Should I call my ex boyfriend on his birthday?” Guess what I’m going to suggest you do? That’s right, I’m going to tell you to stay away from the phone.

Calling your ex boyfriend on his birthday might seem like a perfect opportunity to have a little chat with him while you wait for him to suddenly come to his senses and want you back. That’s all fairy tale thinking, ladies. Reality paints a much clearer picture. If you call your ex and wish him the best on his birthday, you are opening yourself up to great pain and disappointment. This is why. Either you are going to call the screen and you won’t answer because you want to avoid having awkward encounters with your ex on your special day or you will answer and the whole conversation will be filled with long pauses and comments about the weather and work. You can’t expect a former love to welcome you with open arms just because you call to tell them that you want them to have a great day.

This is what you should do when your birthday arrives. You can pretend you don’t remember. In fact, this can work very well in your favor if you play it right. By that I mean you let the actual date of her birth pass without any contact and then a few days later you send her a short text message wishing her a happy belated birthday. What this does is show him that his world doesn’t revolve around him yet. Even if he does, you never want him to know.

The other approach you can take on your birthday is to simply text the same day. I shouldn’t say anything but “Happy Birthday.” No pet names like baby, sweetie or darling and absolutely no mention of how much you miss him or how you can’t live without him. This is a time when it is imperative that you keep it short and concise. If you don’t respond, don’t worry.

Self-control is the best gift you can give your boyfriend and, indeed, yourself on his birthday. No one, male or female, wants to share their life with someone who is emotionally immature or unable to cope with a breakup. By not giving too much importance to her birthday, you are showing her that it is just another day of the week for you. That way you will keep your self-esteem intact and there is nothing more important than that.

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