Last week, I was dining alone at one of the few five-star restaurants when I noticed a couple having a heated argument over what appeared to be dessert. As she watched disinterestedly, the woman suddenly jumped up and ran ungracefully towards the door, yelling furiously over her shoulder, “You cheated! Again!”
Curiously, the man did not pursue her. Rather, all he kept repeating to her as he walked away from her was, “She was just there, honey. It didn’t mean anything. She was just there.”
Adventures are now such a common place that not having an adventure is fast becoming the exception to the general rule! In fact, finding a partner who can go all out for years without either of them straying is like finding a unicorn.
Cheating is situational and whether you’re lying in bed or just walking through a park, cheating usually starts within a day; it doesn’t just jump on you. It starts with a look, a misplaced thought, and before you know it, a decision is made. Then fast-forward a few minutes later, and you’ll be wondering what the heck happened; or just roll with it and dig into the act.
Cheating is often an opportunity creation. Sometimes people cheat even when they don’t want to; they could be in love and yet they will cheat on the person they love anyway because the opportunity arose!
The truth, however, is that as ‘opportunistic’ as infidelity is; people can control and avoid it if they honestly want to. So here are some tips on how to avoid cheating:
1. Talk to your partner about it.
The soul is not the only thing that confession is for! I can think of a few other things that would benefit from being cleared up: your relationship for example! If you feel the need to lose yourself with a certain person, actually confessing to the person you love is infinitely more effective than a strong cup of hot black coffee after drinking a lot. It can feel like a splash of cold water! In fact, if you confess and still feel like cheating, all I can say is, ‘Houston, we’ve got a problem.’
2. Avoid lonely places with the object of your desire.
Yeah, I’m thinking that no matter how crazy the attraction is, you might have a bit of a hard time starting to do it like rabbits in a room full of, say, board members, soccer moms, or friends. Like I said, issues are situational.
3. Never miss the discovery.
Sometimes cheating is a child of boredom, so here’s a thought; never let the fire go out in your relationship or in your marriage. Always do your best to keep it interesting because as long as you are really looking forward to some quality time with your loved one, adventures will be the furthest thing from their minds.
Yes people, you need limits! The last thing you should do is allow yourself to know more about the forbidden object of your desire. If you constantly feel a surge of desire every time you think about that person, then you need to put up a wall quickly. This doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t be friends, it just means no flirting, no holding hands, no sidelong glances, and no private moments away from other people.
5. Find the faults.
Yeah, I know it’s not pretty, but when you’re positively drooling over someone you shouldn’t love in the first place, you have to talk yourself out of it by focusing more on the aspects of their character that you hate. That may seem impossible if you have starry eyes and all, but trust me, they all come packed with good and bad. So now would be a good time to channel your inner Robert Greene and ‘turn your back on what you can’t have’.
6. Keep a clear head.
Yeah I’m thinking this might be a hard thing to do if you’re drunk, so if you don’t want to get caught with your pants down, avoid alcohol until you’re safely home or as far away from the object of your desire as possible. possible!
If you can do this, you should be fine. But of course, if you choose to focus on your ‘instincts’, you can always become the person in the restaurant who screams after leaving an injured loved one behind.