To give pleasure to a woman, it is important to understand the stages of the female orgasm and what they mean to bring pleasure and satisfaction to your partner.

In Western terms, the female orgasm is (from the Greek orgasmos, “to swell”), also known as sexual climax; a pleasurable physical, psychological, and emotional response to prolonged sexual stimulation.

A female orgasm, like a male’s, is often accompanied by a marked physiological reaction, such as flushing with or without spasms, and may be followed by additional spasms known as aftershocks.

In the East, as described in the Chinese Tao of Sex, the female orgasm is much more categorized and is said to have 9 stages.

Most men (East and West) who are unaware of the 9 stages often stop at stage 4, thus depriving a woman of the maximum pleasure available to her. The 9 stages are like:

The 9 stages of the female orgasm

1. The “lung” stage, where the woman “sighs”, breathes very hard and saliva.

2. The “heart” stage in which the woman is kissing her man often extending her tongue towards him.

3. The “spleen, pancreas, and stomach” stage where the woman’s muscles tense up and she grips her man tightly.

4. The “kidney and bladder” stage where the woman experiences a series of vaginal spasms and will have a lot of vaginal discharge simultaneously. The untrained man believes that this is the climax.

5. The “bone” stage, where the woman’s joints loosen and she bites down on her partner.

6. The “liver and nerve” stage, where the woman moves like a snake under or over her man, and wraps her arms and legs around him.

7. The “blood” stage, where the woman’s blood feels like it’s boiling and she’s grabbing her man all over.

8. The “muscle” stage, where the woman’s muscles completely relax, but she’s been known to further grab and bite on the man’s nipples.

9. The “full body” stage, where the woman finally collapses and feels what is known as the little death.

Psychological stages of the female orgasm

Certainly the Eastern approach to the female orgasm is much more organized than a simple “sexual climax.” But seen more carefully, let’s understand what is happening physiologically.

The female orgasm is preceded by wetting of the vaginal walls and an enlargement of the clitoris due to increased blood flow trapped in the spongy tissue of the clitoris.

Many women exhibit a sexual flush; a reddening of the skin over much of the body due to increased blood flow to the skin. When a woman approaches her orgasm, her clitoris retracts under the clitoral hood and the labia minora darken (due to blood swelling).

As her orgasm becomes imminent, the vagina decreases in size from 25% to 40% and also becomes engorged due to soft tissue engorgement. The uterus can then experience muscular contractions.

A woman experiences a full orgasm (in Western terms) when the uterus, vagina, and pelvic muscles undergo a series of rhythmic contractions. Most women find these contractions very pleasant.

It is at this point that western and eastern designs differ. In Western thought, after the orgasm ends, the clitoris re-emerges from under the clitoral hood, returning to its normal size in less than 10 minutes.

multiple female orgasms

Unlike men, women have no or a very short refractory period and may therefore experience a second orgasm shortly after the first; some women may even follow this with additional consecutive orgasms, as many as eight have been reported among some people; this is known as having multiple orgasms. In Eastern thought, these are just part of the process.

Again, in Western thought, a distinction is sometimes made between a clitoral and a vaginal orgasm. A female orgasm that results from combined stimulation of the clitoris and vagina is called a combined orgasm. In Eastern thought this is approaching stage 9.

A final consideration is the case of female ejaculation. It is not considered at all in Eastern thought, but in the West there is a longstanding discussion about the existence of female ejaculation (colloquially known as squirting or gurgling).

This refers to the expulsion of noticeable amounts of fluid from the urethra or vagina during sexual stimulation at or near orgasm.

The expelled fluid is reported in various ways such as:

o Urine, possibly due to stress incontinence,

o A clear or milky fluid that emerges (sometimes forcefully), has a composition similar to the fluid generated in men by the prostate gland, and is generated by Skene’s glands, or

o A mixture of these two fluids.

o None of the above, but just an excess of vagina

lubricating fluids, and is a concept used to support feminist theory or material of interest to pornographic films.

The fact is that the female orgasm goes through several stages knowing what these stages are and what to expect means you can respond and guide women to maximum satisfaction.

Find out how to help your women orgasm part 2

This is discussed in part 2 “helping your women orgasm every time”.