I often hear from women who are trying to pick up the pieces after finding out about their husband’s affair or cheating. The other day a wife contacted me and said, in part, “My husband says he’s so sorry and he’s going to end the affair. He says he’ll do whatever he has to do to save our marriage. He swears he loves me and never stopped loving me.” love me. But how do I know if he’s telling the truth? Obviously he lied to me about the affair, so how can I trust him now? How do I know if he really still loves me or if he’s just trying to save me? appearances after cheating?”

These questions are so common. It’s hard to know if you can believe anything your husband says, since the reason you’re in this mess is because he was dishonest and he betrayed you. However, I have a definite opinion on whether you can trust a husband when he says that he still loves you after he cheated on you, which I will discuss in the next article.

There really are some men who never stopped loving their wives when they cheated on them: Wives often can’t begin to understand how you can love someone and then betray them. We do not understand this, and we cannot understand it, because we ourselves would never betray our spouse. Our mind simply cannot go to this place in the same way that our actions and behaviors would never lead us down this path.

However, I have many men and husbands who have cheated on me also visit my blog. Many send me private messages. And, I don’t know them and I’m not his wife. They have no incentive or motive to lie to me. I’m certainly not going to speak to your wife on her behalf as I don’t know any of them. But what they almost always tell me is how sorry they are and how they’re so ashamed of their behavior and how their number one priority right now is figuring out how to fix this.

Now, serial cheaters or men who don’t mind making up with their wives probably won’t find my site, so I don’t hear from these men. I’m not saying they don’t exist because I know they exist. But I also know that many men are capable of separating the other person from their wives and their marriages. They often don’t see the affair as a real relationship that involves emotional give-and-take. They see it as a response to a personal crisis that was separated from his wife and her marriage.

And they often don’t anticipate that anyone will get hurt. But when someone gets hurt, and that someone is you, it’s often only then that he realizes what he’s done. Suddenly they realize what a big mistake they have made. And they are being honest when they say that they never stopped loving you and that one thing had nothing to do with the other, at least in their own minds.

These are usually the kind of men who cheat just once and then, when they realize the devastation it caused, promise never to cheat again and reevaluate their marriage and their priorities so they can fix this. And it is from these same men that you see certain behaviors, which I will discuss later.

It is her husband’s actions, not his words, that will show her that he still loves her after making the mistake of cheating: We all know that most people will say and do anything to get out of a situation like this. And you also know that you have to take what he says with a grain of salt, because very recently he was lying to you. But often it’s a husband’s actions over time that tell him more than any words could.

A man who is truly sorry for cheating and still loves his wife will change his priorities to put marriage and his wife first. He will immediately cut off all ties with the other person and change her schedule and his clothes to be more in line with his values ​​and his priorities for their marriage. He will do whatever it takes to help you heal and recover. He will be patient and won’t push you or do things that cause you extra pain.

You will see your changing priorities in your everyday life. He will not be reserved or resentful. He will know that this situation is of his own creation and it is his own fault. And he takes full responsibility for this. He doesn’t imply that any of this was your fault or that you could have prevented it. He knows that it was he who made this mistake and he knows that it is his job to rectify this.

And, he doesn’t do this through words. Instead, he tells you so by making you his priority, offering you reassurance, giving both of you the help or tools you need, and reminding you, every day, no matter how angry and distant you are, that he will wait. this for as long as it takes because he knows you’re worth it and that you’re what he really wants.

He will show you that he believes this over time by keeping these promises. He knows that he has a lot to do to catch up, but he will discover that he is responsible, he is willing to do whatever it takes and he knows that he has no right to set a timeline on this. Sometimes you will have to explain this to your husband. Some men have good intentions, but they are not astute enough to read your signals. It can be frustrating to explain this in detail, but honestly, it’s the only way to make sure you get what you need. It is usually better to speak than to remain silent, disappointed and resentful.