The pain caused by infidelity is excruciating. When your spouse cheats on you with a family member, the pain is magnified because you have been betrayed by two people you love.
Why did my family member do this?
You may never know why. An explanation will certainly be given, but it may not solve the problem in your mind. You can spend hours and hours of energy trying to figure out why. It may be a better idea to focus on what to do with your marriage.
Why did my spouse do this?
Cheating is primarily emotional. For whatever reason, your spouse felt an emotional connection to your family member. However, this does not excuse the behavior.
What do I do now?
Although two relationships in your life are in crisis, the decisions related to your marriage are the most urgent. You must decide if you want to work to save the marriage. If you do, due to the nature of the situation, it would be wise not to try to figure things out alone. The chances of reconciliation and a lasting marriage will be greatly improved if both of you agree to use professional help. A good counselor will work with you as a couple and also individually. This is important. Before you can have a full marriage, you must be a person of integrity.
If you and your spouse are committed to keeping your marriage together, it may be wise to establish safeguards to help ensure that your family member cannot easily communicate with your spouse. It’s easy to block email addresses or phone numbers. However, the main and best protection is your partner. Your spouse should be open with you, informing you immediately of any attempts to contact your relative with him / her.
And my family member?
Family members cannot get divorced, so there is no way to cut this person out of your life forever. Invariably, both will be present at weddings, funerals, and graduations. Unless you are not attending any family events for the rest of your life, you will see this relative from time to time. This means that there must be some kind of reconciliation; They must be able to be courteous to each other. Otherwise, each encounter will be a miserable experience for both you and the rest of the family.
Unpleasant circumstances
Infidelity with a family member is one of the worst types of extramarital involvement. It affects not only the married couple, but the family in general. Once exposed, the matter takes on a life of its own as everyone in the family begins to voice their opinion on the matter and tries to establish blame. People begin to take sides and the family is divided.
Often, undue pressure is put on the faithful spouse to file for divorce. Talking about forgiveness and keeping the marriage together is greeted with hostility. The family may want you to forgive your relative, but not your spouse. Innocent of any wrongdoing, he is asked to choose sides. Any support from your family to keep your marriage intact may be minimal.
Even though you may not be faced with the best of circumstances, your marriage can survive this ordeal with the right help and determination. Make sure all the decisions you make are yours and not imposed by your family or others.