The whole world is running after development, success and career. On one hand, this fast-paced world is helping many of its inhabitants to lead an epicurean life, but on the other hand, the world itself is becoming the root of all their problems in life. Day by day we are sinking into the mire of depression and frustration. In recent years, the catchphrase term is post-nuptial depression, or PND. But what is this post-nuptial depression, or PND? Let’s try to illustrate this and find the reasons behind it.
The PND can be defined as the mental disorder or depression that either spouse goes through after a certain time of marriage. But doctors say regarding PND that in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a publication of the American Psychological Association, there is no such word. According to psychologists and psychiatrists, it is only the adjustment problem that creeps into the relationship between newly married couples. Adaptation problems between couples are not new but now they have just been given the name of PND.
Marriage for a girl is something sacred, and she cherishes this wish deep in her heart for a long time. She always dreams of marrying a beautiful and loving person. She finds her D-day the happiest moment of her life. Also, marriage per se is a very long and hectic process. From the time the marriage is arranged until it takes place, both the bride and her family members experience anxiety. Everyone remains busy with the arrangements and preparations for the marriage. But the girl is dealing with a different kind of anxiety. She remains happy to start a new life and worried about those unknown people with whom she is going to live. During that one day of her marriage, she becomes the center of attraction for everyone, and suddenly, after the marriage, she gradually loses this attention from everyone, from her husband to her in-laws. Then, in most families, more attention is paid to the bride’s flaws than to her qualities. It seems as if the bride without any virtue. This change in her life also creates a storm in her mind that destroys her inside. Therefore, from this moment on, she finds herself alone despite the people around her, and she becomes depressed and frustrated. Of course, there are also variations.
Similarly, men are not spared from this onslaught of this mental trauma. Men’s tremendous work pressure is affecting their marital happiness. Couples in which both work, due to high work pressure, try to throw household responsibilities on each other. Men begin to suffer from many diseases such as heart problems, blood pressure, insomnia, angina, ulcers, overeating episodes, etc. But after a series of tests, the result confirms that he suffers from depression and nothing more.
This emotional and psychological collapse can be interpreted as PND. In urban areas, PND cases are spreading rapidly like an epidemic. Now two career people are being reunited through the sacred thread of marriage, but both are bringing home their work tensions, which ultimately leads to clashes, depression, frustration, emotional breakdown, and in some cases even divorce. Both working couples find themselves unable to strike a balance between their personal and professional lives. A crisis occurs immediately after the wedding bell stops ringing. This is the period when couples are faced with a whole new set of situations that they feel they cannot cope with. The number of cases of depression increases every year. A report from the World Health Organization predicts that by 2020, depression will become the most prevalent global disease.
The stress of the modern world is the most important reason for walking in PND cases. Today’s hectic work culture consumes most of an individual’s time and couples don’t have time to bond and understand each other’s feelings.
The PND is observed mainly in the group of high-income people. They have more work pressure and stress that gets into their marriage and leads to depression, trauma and frustration. In some cases, they even come close to breaking their holy and sacred bond.
Loneliness, like depression, also causes PND. Marriages where the bride is a housewife can find her in the lap of all kinds of luxuries, but she misses the most coveted company of her beloved husband. To lead a luxurious life, the husband works very hard while he ignores the fact that he is, on the other hand, pushing his wife into a dark pit of depression and frustration. In addition, there is an excessive amount of domestic and maternity stress for the wife. In such cases, sometimes the wife becomes withdrawn and uncommunicative and needs psychological help to get out of this and return to normal life.
The PND has no gender bias. It can happen to both men and women. Medical reports suggest that 90% of PND patients come from IT and other emerging sectors where there is high work pressure.
These days, everyone is concerned about their own career and therefore, especially in urban areas, people get married at an advanced age. These couples have higher expectations and less ability to adapt. And this, along with today’s stress, results in certain conflict between couples. Now young professionals look for social and emotional support in the workplace instead of their spouse. So this leaves no room for bonding and adjustment between couples. Also, there are huge ego issues that lead to clashes over petty issues.
Girls who are financially dependent on their husbands have their own set of problems. Many married women appreciate a feeling of delay in their subconscious mind and this comes out with the slightest spark. They may feel humiliated in front of working women. Despite his education, his unemployment diminishes his status in today’s society. After their marriage, women want their own space and identity intact. But in some cases, this is hampered. Both her husband and her in-laws want the girl and her clothes to be changed overnight. Also, all the duties, sacrifices, adjustments are asked of the newlywed bride. All of these combined lead to tension, shock, depression, frustration, etc.
Such psychological problems are rapidly decreasing the tolerance level of urban society. People turn small problems into big fights. It seems they have almost forgotten the word “fit”.
That’s why it’s been noted that, for many couples, a big wedding is an invitation to big trouble, right after the wedding bell stops ringing.